The check that comes before every single invitation. When in doubt, drop a level.
🧰 Quick Reference — How to Be With Fletcher
Read at the start of the day, before a new activity, or any time you're off your game. For every adult in Fletcher's world.
Traffic light — check before every invitation:
- Red: Shutdown — just be present. No invitations. Quiet, warm, no agenda.
- Yellow: Activated — regulation supports first. Squeezes, nest, water, quiet. Invitations wait.
- Green: Available — invitations may land. Keep them silent and low-demand.
4 checks before any literacy or numeracy moment:
- Is he regulated? (green)
- Am I commenting — not questioning?
- Am I genuinely expecting nothing?
- Am I ready to receive quietly whatever he does?
Declarative language — say this, not that:
- Instead of "How many?" say: I see three.
- Instead of "What letter is this?" say: There's the F.
- Instead of "Can you find the H?" say: I'm looking for the H... here it is.
- Instead of "Come read with me" say: I'm going to read this book. (then read it, near him)
His engagement is his business. Set the invitation. Walk away. Mean it.